For the second time in two days someone told me I was a good guy and my response was "I wish I wasn't".
The problem with being a good guy is that when people think you're one, you're expected to always be one. You're expected to act a certain way and respond a certain way and if there is ever a time that you don't act as expected, you shatter the image of a good guy. Once that image is shattered, good luck ever getting it back. Now, I don't mind much how you view me, but I do mind what your expectation of me is. And in that is my problem with being a good guy. Like I mentioned in my previous blog, I am a lot of thing, some good some bad, but it's the labels of these things that lies the problem. The labels add in the expectation, and in those expectations are the disappointments, the devastation, the bad surprises, the let downs, etc. It is those reactions once someone breaches their inherent label that ruins everything.
A good guy is not going to be good all the time and a bad guy is not going to be bad all the time. More often than not, I'm probably a pretty good guy, but like anyone else I'm human and the bad guy is going to come out. I wish I wasn't the good guy because then it would be ok to be the bad guy occasionally. It's not that I even want to be the bad guy, I want just want it to be OK to be the bad guy. I don't put things past anyone and because of that I don't get surprised or blind-sided by people doing or acting in a way that is not "typical". The honest person is going to lie, the liar is going to be honest. The labels we place on each other is us putting an unfair expectation on that person. Once gained that label, that is who they are to us and we treat them accordingly and anything out of our label takes us by surprise. Now sometimes, this can have a positive effect but I believe more often than not it leads to the negative.
I had a problem with this. I would put people into different boxes. This is the good girl, the heartless guy/girl, the reliable or unreliable people, the always late person, the person that cares too much about their looks, the person that doesn't care enough. the person that needs attention, the person that is anti-social. I'm as guilty of anyone for labeling someone and expecting them to conform to MY label. NO MORE. Why do we expect people to fit into OUR ideas of them?
Expect Nothing.
Accept what you choose.
- The Bad Good Guy/ Good Bad Guy
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