Into the Darkness. Into the Light.

This has been the roughest summer of my life. I've made numerous changes in my life, many of which I would characterize as one step back and two steps forward.  The problem is when you make a lot of those changes at once, that's a lot of steps backwards.  I've experienced financial trouble, I've had my car break down on me. I've had to experience a frantic phone call from my older sister telling me my mother was in the ER.  I've pushed away people close to me.  I've been frustrated with my jobs (both of them) and made a decision to leave one despite the fact the extra income definitely helps.  The crazy thing?

Summer isn't over yet.

The Best Thing?

I'm smiling through it all.

For so long I have allowed outside factors to determine my happiness, to dictate my stress, to control my life.  I used to say and tell people all the time "control what you can control".  I used to think I believed that, but reality is I never did.  I used the statement to keep others around me calm, but never applied it to myself.  Now? I can't NOT believe it.  It's such a simple statement but carries so much weight.  Things happen in life, you can only control so much.  One thing you can always control: How you react to adversity around you.  Through it all I feel excited for each new day. I have an energy and resolve that will not die.  I have met some amazing people through this journey. Some people for meer moments; others, to be determined.  But even those people that have appeared for moments have left a positive impact on my life and I hope I did the same. The power of people is amazing if you allow it to be.

The saying goes that the sky is darkest before the light and people use that as a saying that things are at their worst before good things come.  This is another thing I used to believe.  Now, I look at it slightly different.  Expecting the light behind the dark is a double edge sword.  On one hand, it's motivational, it provides hope that one is not going through bad times for no reason and that their faith or belief will pay off for them.  On the other hand, what happens when the light doesn't come? or when it takes longer than you hoped?  Does that make the darkness, darker?  or merely make the light, brighter?  The problem with the light after the dark is that we expect it.  We expect that because we are innately good, that the only reason we are going through bad times is so that we appreciate the good.  We make statements like "out of the darkness, into the light". I prefer  to think of it as in dark times, darker times, and even the darkest times, the light is still there; you just have to find it.  It's there, you just have to prepare yourself for it. 

Think back when you were a kid and you when you were going to bed.  When your parents turned off the lights, everything seemed so dark.  But what happens? You adjust to the darkness, next thing you know you can see around your room farely well, look more and you will be able to see in the dark almost as well as you can see in the light.  It's funny, as kids, we had it figured out. Probably why as kids, we never had the stress or adversity we have as adults.  We adjusted to the dark and we found our own light.

Into the Darkess. Into the Light.

Have you ever had an Outer Body Experience?

Have you ever had a surreal moment of clarity?  A moment, or moments of supreme self-reflection and actualization that you came away from it looking at things in a different light than before?

I have had such an experience. It's weird because it was nothing great that led to it.  For those that regularly read my blog you know these past couple months have been very difficult for me.  Everything changed Sunday-Monday.  It kinda came in different acts and I came away from it almost like a new person.  I'm still me, but I'm a more energetic, positive, clear headed version of me.

It all started Sunday. The week before had been one of many particular tough weeks for me.  I spent all day Saturday enjoying the sun, the pool, and margaritas. Sunday was shaping up to be a doozy of day following a very relaxing Saturday; I had an early morning shift at work, two football games in 95 degree heat, and then back to work to close out the night.  Feeling the effects of the prior day, coupled with little sleep and pure exhaustion from the football games in that heat, I went home Sunday afternoon and literally fell out on my floor for a couple hours. I was starving but didn't eat, I was tired but didn't sleep.  I laid there in the floor almost in a trance.  It was in those moments that I had my first moment of clarity.  I saw myself interacting with a lot of people in my life, some were moments I remembered, some were not. Some moments even appeared to be fictitious.  But like many amazing things in life, I failed to understand it and I spent a lot of time trying to.

Part two came Monday night.  I came home from work and went in my room and fell asleep.  I woke up a couple hours later and literally didn't know where I was.  I took some time to get myself together and went the rest of the night like normal.  After going to bed later that night I had the second moment.  I saw those same interactions but from the other persons viewpoint and better yet, I saw how they felt afterwards.  I saw how I've hurt people and it was a numbing experience. It hurt to see the pain I have caused others.  I also saw how indifferent I've made people and wrapping it up I saw the positives I have left in others.

It was the most intense experience I have ever had in my life.  I woke up today dead tired because my mind and maybe even my body was awake half the night with this experience but it is after 1am here and I am still wired and full of energy.  This experience has truly renewed me.  I have a new purpose in life, an incredible focus and energy that I have not felt before.  I immediately looked to spread the new me with others.  I want to have the biggest impact I can have on as many people as I can have it on.  I see things differently than I did 72 hours ago and I still don't think I completely understand it.  The downside is I realize that with change, comes pain.  I feel like I can see around the corner and that I see that this enhanced version of my former self will not be a hit with everyone. Some people want to live in the dark, I want to shine the light. I want to uplift, some don't want to to be lifted.  I know, I have been those other people, but I am not anymore.  I will gain new friends and lose others, and I am OK with that. I had a conversation tonight with three amazing women that each have a different place in my life.  I explained to them what happened and how I feel.  Their reactions varied.  1 was skeptical, 1 was inquisitive, 1 was positive, yet indifferent.  For me, all three provided me with a great conversation and I ended each one on such a high, it was amazing.

A quote I often use or misuse rings so true:

"A person often meets their destiny on the road he took to avoid it" 

- Jean de La Fontaine

Everything I previously feared, I tried to avoid, and it happened. Now I'm different.  I don't even believe in destiny or fate, but I believe everything happens for a reason.  I don't know what the future holds for me, but I am not afraid of it and I will enjoy every moment of the journey I take to get there.

I hope these words find a way to sink in.  My name is Lance Adams and I had an outer body experience.

Words from a Stranger

Had the best conversation with a customer tonight at Best Buy.  It was this mid 40s white woman who came in looking for "something to play music on". We started looking at ipods and mp3 players but she didn't know they cost what they did. I asked her if she had a smart phone and she said "Yea" and should me an android phone that was older than mine, and if you know me, you know that's terrible.  Anyway we proceeded to sit down in the middle of the aisle and I began to walk her through the process.  It turns out that she didn't even have a google account and thus no access to the play store.  I began to sign her up for an account which you could use either gmail or facebook to register for, she had neither...

I told her she was the only person in the world that had neither a gmail or facebook account. She laughed and told me the reason she didn't have one is because she doesn't want the government to have all of her information and monitor her every movement.  She began to tell me how the government knows everything in your home from your purchase history and knows your whereabouts based on data from your purchases and sites like facebook.  She told me that when the economy collapses the government was going to seize all that information.  We kinda talked back and forth on the matter, point counterpoint kind of thing. Then she said this statement: "I hope I don't offend you, but...."

We all know how that goes.

She followed that up with "I don't know if you like Obama or not, but I don't agree with everything he does, particularly passing the acts that allow the government to come into your home and seize you and your possessions without a warrant or anything under the notion of national security."  I told her that she couldn't offend me and that I doubt there has ever been a single person in the world with whom I've agreed on everything with. She said "It's not that I don't like him, it's just that that thing (the homeland security stuff) and the Snowden leaks (Facebook, Apple, Google, Verizon, etc. sharing data with the NSA). We literally sat on the ground in the store for 30-40 minutes talking about the government and the future that is in store for today's youth.  We even talked about economic collapse and the end of civilization as we know it.

The reason I'm writing this post is simple.  Me and this lady disagreed on nearly everything.  But it was probably the best conversation I've had in a long time (not to offend anyone).  It was uplifting and refreshing that two adults could have a conversation around two different viewpoints and nobody get upset or say something out of line.  There have been many things said recently that made me sad and lose hope in humanities ability to literally agree to disagree and move on and still be human beings.  This woman showed me that there's still hope. There are still people out there that can just disagree, and that's OK. We're not always going to agree, but we need to respect each other when we don't.

When we finished our conversation she left the store with a new pair of headphones and a phone where she could download some music and convert CD's over through her computer, she was ecstatic.  The best part was, as she was leaving she said to me "You converted me." I asked what she meant and she just said "You made me look at things in a different light, things I've never thought about. Thank you." and she left.  Here I am literally thinking the same thing and when she said that I was stunned, absolutely stunned.

 I don't even know your name, but wherever you are my customer lady, THANK YOU. You helped restore my faith in people.

Why The Bulls Are Still Better Than The Nets

So, the Nets are the biggest threat to the Heat this upcoming season?

 Really?

Adding two players from a 41-40 team that are closer to a retirement than they are to all-star level play.

The Nets and Knicks are just fighting for homecourt in what is their inevitable first round match up as 4th and5th seeds next season.  Last I checked, the Nets were a 4th seed last year and lost in the first round.  In Game 7.  At Home. Against a certain team that was missing their best player, their 2nd best player played through injury, their 3rd best player was out with injury and their 5th best player was out with injury.  Thank about that for a minute. 3 of their best 5 didn't play and another played hurt.  No Rose, Noah hurt, no Deng, no Hinrich.  Take ANY other team and remove 3 of their top 5 and they don't beat anyone.  This begs the question, did the Bulls just have that much heart? Or were the Nets that heartless?  

Now the Bulls are returning everyone healthy from a team that had the best record in the NBA the previous season when everyone played.  Not to mention we drafted a stretch 4 to spread the court for Rose, one of our biggest weaknesses has been 3 pt shooting.  We replaced Belinelli with Mike Dunleavy (an upgrade on both ends of the court), and we drafted another young, athletic wing that can shoot in case we decide to move on from Deng mid-season or after the season.

Yet, we are led to believe the Nets are the biggest threat to the Heat.


Get out of here. The 3 best teams in the East are Miami, Indiana, Chicago, in any order.  Net and Knicks 4th/5th followed by Cleveland (Yes, Cleveland), Washington,  and Detroit in any order. I know, Cleveland, Washington, Detroit? Yea. Atlanta, Milwaukee, and Boston are trending the wrong direction. They'll all lottery bound.  and I may be a homer here since I live in Charlotte now, but watch out for the Bobcats, they could contend for the 8th seed.

Turning a new leaf?

Those that have been around me know the last couple weeks have been really tough on me, tougher than most of you know. I've had a personal scare that shook me a whole lot more than I let it be known it did. One of those moments that makes you start to look at everything in a different light. I've lost a person that used to always have my back. I've pushed others away that try to have my back.  I've been very reflective and have spent very few time with others instead opting for the gym and the solitude of home.  I've been meaning to write a blog for days now but couldn't quite come to terms with what it is that I wanted to write about. I still can't. I'm sitting at home, on my balcony, watching the storm about to hit.  I've experienced a lot of change over the last year and as I look forward to the coming days, weeks, months, years, I feel like I'm in the process of starting the next phase of my life. I'm looking forward to the people that will accompany this journey with me.

On that note, I am attempting to turn a new page in this chapter in my book of life. Those that know me, know i look at many things from a rational/analytic approach.  This serves me well in some aspects of life but not in others.  A couple days ago, a friend came to me with their concerns and all I did was marginalize and rationalize them.  Last night the same thing occurred with another friend.  I realized I had to change, I had to be more human and less robotic.  It's tough because I've always fancied myself as someone that cares about people but I've always struggled to show people that I care.  The great thing about a blog is that it allows me to get out my thoughts no matter how jumbled they are. I have to admit, this is probably my worst post. Typically I'll write a post because I have thoughts or topics that I want to share my views on. I apologize that this is not one of them.

I think I'm suffering from a severe lack of football in my life. I'm never like this in the fall.

Anyway, since I've strayed from the sports lately, check out my friends blog over at The Sports Travelers.
He's got some good stuff over there, I'll be joining him on his next trip so look for a dual post then. Also, I'm always looking for something to write about. Many things I care to speak on are so overblown in coverage (Miami Heat title, Aaron Hernandez, Trayvon Martin case).  Free me from my writer's block!

- ODAAT. (One Day At A Time)

How Strong are your frienships? How Strong are your relationships?

Today I was thinking how much do the people in your life matter?

I've seen best friends become enemies, family stop speaking, over time people grow closer and people grow apart.  How constant are these relationships that we are developing with each other?  Go back 10 years, where are the people that you would have done anything for?  How many is that still the case?  How many could you not even pick up the phone and call today?  How many would you have no contact with if it wasn't for facebook, twitter, or instagram?  How many of them would do anything for you?

Think about it.

Now think about the people in your life right now that you feel you would do anything for, the people that you would literally die for.  Now fast forward 10 years, will that still be the case?  Now I know no one knows the future, but I do believe that we as people know how to lie to ourselves because it's easier than the truth.  We hold on to friendships and relationships because we don't know what else to do, we don't see a future but we don't want to admit or accept it, but over time the truth of those friendships and relationships come out and are lost.

How strong are your friendships? How strong are your relationships?

Take a step down the rabbit hole with me.  Fast forward 10 years. You are given two cards, each with a name on it. You are given a choice. Of those two names, one will have all their dreams come true, and the other will lose everything they have.

One is the name of someone that you are close to now, your "best friend", "girlfriend", or any number of those that you would do anything for; and the other name is your own.  Would you give up everything so that the people you would do anything for, have everything?

 How strong are your friendships?  How strong are your relationships?

Now think of all the people that you say you would do it, you would give this person everything in their dreams and you would essentially, give up your life for them.  Ask yourself this? What if they were presented with the same option?  Would you be living your dreams thanks to them?  or would they choose themselves?  Does your opinion of what they would change your decision?  Think about it.  Is it selfish to expect those that you would give anything for to do the same? Or is it fair?

There are a number of people that I would truly give up everything if they could have everything and of those people I know there are a number that would not return the favor.  Does it change anything? Hard to say, part of me feels challenged to have the kind of impact on their lives that they would give up everything for me.  Part of me feels that maybe those are the people that in 10 years, I won't be able to pick up and call.  But the biggest part of me feels ok with it.  I can accept that not everyone is built like me, self preservation is a powerful tool.  There are people from 2003 that I would've given everything for that today, I simply wouldn't.  However, I am proud to say that the list of people I would give everything for is a lot larger now than it was then.  I truly believe the relationships that I have built with the people closest to me are lifetime relationships; even if those relationships change over time.

If you're unsure if you're one of those people in my life, that means I know how you would answer the question asked above.  And I'm ok with it.  Call me, I'll tell you if you're on of those people for me and that I don't want you to give up anything for me.  I want you to give up everything,  and I mean everything....................................






for yourself.

If you're willing to bet it all on you, than I am too; that's why I say without a doubt that I would give up everything for those closest to me. 

How strong are your friendships?  How strong are your relationships?

Good Guy Bad Guy

For the second time in two days someone told me I was a good guy and my response was "I wish I wasn't".

The problem with being a good guy is that when people think you're one, you're expected to always be one. You're expected to act a certain way and respond a certain way and if there is ever a time that you don't act as expected, you shatter the image of a good guy. Once that image is shattered, good luck ever getting it back.  Now, I don't mind much how you view me, but I do mind what your expectation of me is. And in that is my problem with being a good guy.  Like I mentioned in my previous blog, I am a lot of thing, some good some bad, but it's the labels of these things that lies the problem. The labels add in the expectation, and in those expectations are the disappointments, the devastation, the bad surprises, the let downs, etc.  It is those reactions once someone breaches their inherent label that ruins everything.

A good guy is not going to be good all the time and a bad guy is not going to be bad all the time.  More often than not, I'm probably a pretty good guy, but like anyone else I'm human and the bad guy is going to come out.  I wish I wasn't the good guy because then it would be ok to be the bad guy occasionally.  It's not that I even want to be the bad guy, I want just want it to be OK to be the bad guy.  I don't put things past anyone and because of that I don't get surprised or blind-sided by people doing or acting in a way that is not "typical".  The honest person is going to lie, the liar is going to be honest. The labels we place on each other is us putting an unfair expectation on that person. Once gained that label, that is who they are to us and we treat them accordingly and anything out of our label takes us by surprise.  Now sometimes, this can have a positive effect but I believe more often than not it leads to the negative.

I had a problem with this. I would put people into different boxes. This is the good girl, the heartless guy/girl, the reliable or unreliable people, the always late person, the person that cares too much about their looks, the person that doesn't care enough. the person that needs attention, the person that is anti-social.  I'm as guilty of anyone for labeling someone and expecting them to conform to MY label.  NO MORE. Why do we expect people to fit into OUR ideas of them? 

Expect Nothing.
Accept what you choose.

- The Bad Good Guy/ Good Bad Guy

10 years of "adulthood": Who Am I?

I write a lot of blogs about sports, this isn't going to be one of them...

I've done a lot of reflecting this year, a lot of quiet time to myself trying to figure out what it is that makes me who I am, what it is to make me happy.  What I've learned after all that time is this:

 Some people think I'm an asshole, others say I'm one of the nicest people they know. To some I'm private, to others I'm outgoing. I'm angry and happy all the time, I'm organized, focused, yet have no plan. I'm loving and affectionate and heartless.  I never lie and I lie all the time.  The reality is I am none of those and I am all of those.

I am a human being. I believe at my core that all people are innately good.  This leads me to always see and look for the best in anyone and everyone and to forgive those that have wronged me without the need for an apology.  Why? Because I study people, I put myself in their shoes, their lives, their situations and I ask myself : Who am I to judge their actions and motives?  If I had a dollar for every mistake or wrong thing I've done I'd be a billionaire and you know what, so would everyone else. What does that tell you? We are all flawed and will continue to make mistakes.  There is apart of me that actually loves flawed people. I love people that are not afraid to mess up.  I love people that are scarred.  I love people that are broken. Those people are just like me.  I genuinely believe in a judgement free zone and some that know me know that they can tell me anything and get an honest and truthful answer with no judgement. 

I look back at my ten years of "adulthood" and realize that my generation is so far behind where our parents were in terms of maturity.  I look at an 18 year old me and I cringe at the thing I've said, done, and will do. I look at myself in the mirror now and I do the same.  I look at the people I love and those that love me and I wonder which me do they love? I rarely let people see me as I fear the complexities that I bring will scare them away, yet I yearn to learn more about them.  Does that make me more selfish or more scared?

I am fearful of my emotions and fearless in my actions.  I will risk anything for those I love and risk much for those I don't even know.  I will do anything you need and nothing you want. Do you know what 28 years of evolving have taught me?

The evolution is getting started, I wonder how 38 year old me will view 28 year old me.  Hopefully, only time will tell.

Winning: My Drug of Choice

Being a champion is one of the greatest feelings someone can have.  It doesn't matter if it's a YMCA league or a Superbowl. I've competed in a lot of sports throughout my life: football, basketball, track, cross country, flag football.

I  remember my first championship like it was yesterday. It was a hot July day in Richmond, VA and I was running in the AAU state track & field championships, I was 10 years old. I wasn't the best, my teammate beat me in every race we ran that season except for that one. 2-mile race in what had to be at least 100 degrees. Somehow I pulled the win out and had my first championship.  Since then I've won 2 flag football league championships and that's it. Not the largest of championships, never a high school state championship and I was never good enough to compete at a higher level. However, the euphoria I felt then as a 10 year old was unparalleled. It's such a high, it takes you to another place and makes you feel like you can do anything.

Winning, is like a drug. My drug of choice.

Once you taste it, nothing can ever replace it. And there inherently lies the problem with competition, with winning. It's the reason college coaches work 20 hour days for 11 months out of the year. It's the reason why men and women argue, winning an argument is more important than winning with the relationship. It's the reason why I'm pushing 30 and still play flag football and video games.

Sometimes I wonder if winning means different things to men and women. When you watch TV and you see this athletes and they say the cliche "Winning is Everything".  If you've ever won, you understand that it is not a cliche. All of the practice, the preparation, the pain. Putting yourself through physical and mental hell, just to be a half step quicker, a half second faster, jump an inch higher, tire slower.  The extra practice that allows you to know the playbook in your sleep, not only knowing what you should be doing but where every single one of your teammates will be doing as well. 

Now, I've learned to have fun when playing and to tone down my competitiveness but let's be honest. It's all a facade. I don't care if it's monopoly, I'm in it to win.

Winning: My Drug of Choice

PED's in Sports: Is Anyone Clean?

MLB: Mark McGuire. Sammy Sosa. Barry Bonds. Roger Clemens. Alex Rodriquez. The best of MLB or cheaters?

Cycling: Lance Armstrong. Greatest cyclist ever or greatest liar ever?

NFL: Shawne Merriman. Brian Cushing. Aqib Talib. Brandon Browner. Richard Sherman. Joe Haden. up and coming stars or up and coming cheaters?

NBA: ..................

If Everyone Cheats? Is It Cheating?

Steriods has brought everyone that achieves an amazing statistical feat into question. 
Usain Bolt: Solid 200 yard runner turned unstoppable 100/200 runner.
Adrian Peterson: Torn ACL/MCL, nearly breaks NFL rushing record a year later.
Ray Lewis: Torn triceps 16 yrs into NFL turns in super bowl appearance 2 months later?

Let's face reality here. If your favorite athlete does something astonishing, he probably had help. It's 2013, open your eyes.  We are seeing bigger, stronger, faster athletes every year. You think it's the food? Remember when 7 footers were slow, prodding big men. Look at them now, DeAndre Jordan, Dwight Howard, Blake Griffin. I could go on, we have never seen athletic big men like this before.
On that subject, does anyone else think it is odd that not a single NBA player has ever test postived for performance enhancing drugs? Seriously?

I assume everyone is cheating, when I hear about Lance Armstrong or A-Rod, i don't stop to think about it.  It does not affect my opinion of them at all, I am completely de-sensitized to drugs in sports.  There is no savior in sports, only people that have not been caught...yet.

LeBron James.

Think he's clean?



I'm Back!!!

Fall: The Return of Man

Today is the day I have been waiting over 7 months for, the Kick-Off of the 2012 NFL Season.  Leaving us are the days of summer, pointless baseball games, family vacations.  The kids are back in school (if you have any), baseball playoffs are knocking on the door, and fall is here.  I always tell my girlfriend that spring and summer are her times of year, I have no plans (besides NFL draft night and NBA playoffs), so we do all the things she wants to do from april-august.  That's a long, long 5 months.  To make things worse, my 2 month withdrawal period that is march madness was underwhelming this year.  Finally, the NFL has come back to me.

This next paragraph is delegated to the ladies that read my blog. Men play fantasy football, we don't expect you to understand it, just humor us in our discussions on topics such as: Why do I continue to draft Ryan Matthews when all he does is burn me? I need Player X to score 2 TD's, but I don't want them to beat my team.  I don't care if the Patriots are 13-2 and already clinched home field, I need Brady to play week 17, it's the championship in my fantasy league!

Yes ladies, these are real thoughts men have surrounding fantasy football, don't judge us.

Back to the NFL. 

I truly believe this is going to be a great NFL season.  There's so many storylines, Peyton Manning's return, the craziness that is Tebow and the Jets, will the Texans take the jump, are the Eagles worth the hype, how good are the Giants, 5 rookie QB's starting.  Amazing.  Even better, those blessed with the NFL network will not only be able to watch games on Sunday and Monday, but Thursday night as well EVERY week.  It's a good thing I dedicated the majority of the last 5 months to my girlfriend because I'll only be available to her Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday (Saturday is dedicated to college football and setting my fantasy football line up).

My NFL Predicitions:

AFC East - Patriots
AFC North - Ravens
AFC South - Texans
AFC West - Chiefs
Wildcard - Bengals
Wildcard - Broncos

NFC East - Eagles
NFC North - Packers
NFC South - Falcons
NFC West - 49ers
Wildcard - Bears
Wildcard - Cowboys (fanboy pick?)

That's all I'm going with. It's been awhile since I've posted (like 5 months), but now Man Season is back, so you can expect a lot from me until I go back into hibernation in April.

Long, Live, Sports

Please don't call me "African-American"

I am not an "African-American." In fact, I hate the term "African-American".

Somehow that became the acceptable term for black people in America because the words nigger and negro just wouldn't do.  Wikipedia defines an African American as "citizens or residents of the United States who have at least partial ancestry from any of the native populations of Sub Saharan Africa".  Why does America find it necessary to define only one set of people's ancestry? That definition says nothing about color, but if you are American, and from South Africa, but happen to have white skin, what does America call you? Not African-American.

Caucasians are just called white, not German American, English American, Scottish American, Italian American, etc.  Typically, only 1st generation descendants will go by those terms, yet I can go back my family ancestry for six generations and find nobody from Africa yet. In fact my great-great-great grandfather was a white man, does that mean anything? No. Why? Because as much as America likes to try to deny it, people are placed in these ethnic groups due to the color of their skin.  I would love to see the census for every "white" person of African descent and see what boxes they check.

If I was truly an African American, I or my parents would have been born in Africa. I know plenty of true African Americans, what do people call them? African. Are they not Americans? It's a travesty that this takes place.  I have never been to Africa, neither has anyone in my immediate family. I would love to go, but how am I supposed to claim something that I have never seen? It's a slap in the face of true African Americans.

America, since we love color so much, let me put it simply. If white/Caucasian Americans of German, English, Scottish, Italian, etc. descent are referred as simply American or White American, then black Americans of African descent should be referred to as simply American or Black Americans. 

Why does this happen only in America?  You know what people call black English people? English. Black french people? French. But black Americans are ??? African-American? Nationalities and ethnicity's are not the same thing...unless you live in America. Why do people not realize this? America! It's OK to call me black.  If everyone in America was referred to where their family came from prior to America or where the family was in the 1800s, we'd have a lot more "Inset Here - Americans".

Somehow we found it ok to just to pinpoint one ethnicity and separate them from the rest. How is that ok America? I cannot claim being an African America, because I am not one. I am an American, and if color is a requisite, a Black American.

SportsTown USA? Can you say MIA?

New York? Boston? LA? No. No. No.

Sports Town USA is officially... Miami.

You heard me, Miami. The city of sun, south beach, the art-deco design, the funky peach/orange, teal colors, Little Havana, the home of the Hurricanes, Heat, Marlins, and Dolphins is officially Sports Town USA.

Yes, I know St. Louis is the home of the world series champs, New York is home of the super bowl champs, and Dallas is home to the NBA champs. St. Louis has nothing else, good luck getting the Rams to win another championship. New York always has the Yankees, but it also has the Mets... Dallas has the Rangers and the Cowboys, the Rangers have a shot at a championship, but the Cowboys? I'm a fan and I know that they don't have a chance anytime soon.

So why Miami? It's the hottest place in sports right now. The Heat will be odds on favorites to win NBA championships the next 3 years, The Dolphins, well, if they get Peyton Manning and Reggie Wayne (I think they will), they become super bowl contenders. Manning a QB, Reggie Bush/Daniel Thomas back field, Jake Long and a solid O-line, Cameron Wake and a solid D, Brandon Marshall and Reggie Wayne? That's a more talented team than Peyton EVER had in Indianapolis and he led them to two super bowls, one win.  The Miami Marlins just picked up Jose Reyes and Marke Buerhle, have some young prospects in Mike Stanton, they still have Hanley Ramirez. That's a promising team.

The challenger to Miami's reign? New York of course, the Knicks stand a genuine shot of being a legit contender if Amare can turn back into 2006 Amare and Melo and Lin can get along.  The Yankees are always among the best teams in baseball and can win a World Series any year. The Giants can sneak up and win one when no one expects it.

The wild card to Miami's reign? Detroit. Yes, Detroit. Home of the Red Wings (NHL's best), the Tigers have potentially the most dangerous line up in baseball (Carbrera, Fielder, Martinez) and have the games most dangerous pitcher (Verlander), the Lions are a nice up and coming team and even in college you have Michigan football on the rise and both UM and MSU basketball teams are highly rated. The problem? It's a Detroit, nobody cares.

Current SportsTown USA rankings:

1. Miami
2. New York
3. Boston

Future SportsTown USA rankings

1. Miami
2. New York
3. Detroit

Of course, if Peyton Manning signs with the Jets, New York automatically shoots to the top of the list. Even if the Dolphins don't land Manning, if they can get a good QB (Matt Flynn in free agency or Ryan Tannehill in the draft) their futures ranking will stay high.  The key is the Heat, if they win a title this season or next, it will trump all because of all the fanfare that comes with LeBron.  Despite the Giants just winning the super bowl, the Yankees have not won a championship in 3 years (a long time for them), the Mets stink, and the Jets are in turmoil, and thus Miami without a championship in forever still ranks above them. 

Am I giving the Heat too much credit? probably, but it's my blog and I can do what I want to.

Tell me how you feel!

Observations from NBA All-Star Weekend

So I haven't been writing as much as I thought I was going to because I haven't been getting as much feedback and conversation as I hoped. Nonetheless, it is not going to stop me from speaking on the topics of love, life, and sports. It seems my sports topics tend to get the most love. I have disabled the need to log in to leave a message in hopes of getting more people to comment. For all those reading and not replying, thanks, I guess I need to write about better topics.

On to tonight's topic.

• Dwight Howard put forth the most pathetic all-star performance I have ever seen, and on his home court no less.
• The dunk contest was the worst I had ever seen. I KNOW sports, and even I have never heard of the guy that won.
• LeBron was LeBron, just great enough to fail. He showed why he has the greatest skill set ever in bringing the east back and still showed he doesn't have the "it" factor with his last minute failings.
• Loved the foul by Wade on Kobe, broke his nose and gave him a mild concussion.
• Kevin Love just might be the best power forward in the NBA, think about that for a second.
• OKC - Miami would be a dream matchup in the NBA finals.
• John Wall will never be as good as Kyrie Irving, though he is a much better athlete.
• Kevin Hart is hilarious, a bit over the top, but hilarious nonetheless.
• Arne Duncan can ball, and he's pushing 50, easily the best player on the court at the celebrity game.
• Never watch the first half of the all-star game, it's about as bad as an And 1 mixtape (remember those?). The last 10 minutes were amazing though.

That's all ya'll. Feel free to tell me what you learned if you watched All-Star Weekend!

Fallen Stars - The Rise of Player Hating

I've been a sports fan my whole life. Some of my favorite sports teams are among the most hated in their sports (Cowboys, Bulls, Heat).  Teams have always been hated. For everyone that loves the Cowboys, there are two people that hate them, same for the Yankees in baseball, Lakers/Celtics basketball (more recently the Heat), and Red Wings in hockey.  That's fine, it's a team game and when teams win and they have passionate fans, those fans are hard to deal with.  I don't hate the yankees because of what the yankees do, I hate the yankees for what their fans do.  Sports teams have been loved/hated since the beginning of sports, but in recent years, months even, things have begun to change.  People still have love/hate relationships with their teams, but now that has subsided and it is the player that is loved or hated more than the team.  How did this happen?

Tony Romo, Tim Tebow, Tom Brady, LeBron James, Carmelo Anthony/Jeremy Lin?

I have never seen a QB more hated than Tony Romo, I don't know if fans that hate the Cowboys hate Romo or if "Cowboy fans" hate him more. 

Tim Tebow, do I even need to address it? Nobody in the history of sports has been both universally loved and hated at the same time.

Tom Brady. Once the golden child has now become hated and then not hated as people loathed the perfect Brady and then stopped hating him when he became human and started losing.

LeBron James. Post-decision LeBron is as hated as I have ever seen an NBA player. He makes poor decisions off the court but has never done anything truly wrong.  Donte Stallworth killed a guy while driving drunk, as did Leonard Little, Ray Lewis was charged with murder but never convicted. Yet, most people don't even know who Stallworth and Little are and Ray Lewis is some sort of hero. LeBron spurned his home team, ran to greener pastures for what he thought was a better chance of winning a championship and he becomes the most hated man in basketball? 

Carmelo Anthony and Jeremy Lin.  My how fast times change. A year ago this time Melo was the savior of NY, now people want him traded so Lin can run the show. Melo was the star, what LeBron could've been had he gone to NY, then he gets hurt, Lin plays out of his mind for two weeks and now Melo joins LeBron has the 2 top targets from a 2 years ago who teams don't want and it has nothing to do with what THEY do on the basketball court. LeBron is balling, Melo's been hurt and had a developmental league roster. Lin comes along and now Melo is disposable. 

Let's put the brakes on all of this for a while. Jeremy Lin may or may not be a star or a bust this time next year. Tim Tebow may never make the playoffs again or could win multiple super bowls.  LeBron may go back to Cleveland, may never win a ring, or could win multiple.  Tom Brady is human. Tony Romo is not Tom Brady, he's also not Matt Cassel, for you Cowboys fans who hate Romo, who are you going to replace him with? I don't know about you guys but I would take Romo over Quincy Carter, Chad Hutchinson, Clint Stoerner, Ryan Leaf, Vinny Testeverde, Drew Bledsoe, and Drew Henson. Do you guys remember them? They still give me nightmares.

The media has made everything big, bigger, and has made everything small, big. Before you jump on a bandwagon or hater train, remember this old saying: Don't hate the player, hate the game. The players don't interview themselves, the players don't film themselves, the players don't show their highlights on ESPN every hour.  The players play, hate it or love it, they play a game. We make them stars, we make them hated.

Valentine's Day?

Tomorrow marks the second worst holiday that man has created (Halloween is the worst).  Tomorrow is the day when every man in a relationship is expected to "show his love" and every woman is expected to be blown away by his gestures.  The funny thing with this is most women on a normal basis would hate it if someone had to tell their man to do something for them.  However, all seems to be forgotten on Valentine's Day when us men gladly take orders from the calender and our women gladly reap the rewards.  Now, I am not against people in love showing how much they care about each other. I am against doing so because the date is February 14th.  I get myself in trouble sometimes because I voice my opinion on things of this nature.  I feel the best gifts and moments are the "just because" gifts.  The ones where you wake up on a wednesday and "just because" you buy your woman flowers, or it's april 12th and "just because" you take your lady out unexpectedly.  For those that don't know me, I also am a victim of tomorrow, I fall in line because it is whats expected.  I am not necessarily against tomorrow, as I enjoy any opportunity to show the one I love a good time but I hate being forced to.  Does that make me a bad guy?  Help me out guys/ladies, what does valentine's day mean and why is it so important to you ladies?

And don't worry guys, if you're looking for a sports post, it's coming, had to get this off my chest first.

Hibernation Over!

Well, it's been over a month since I've posted to the blog and I would like to apologize for that. Busy work schedule, mixed with computer virus = no blogging.  I tried to write this blog from my cell phone one time... It didn't work.

I will be updating the blog after the superbowl about the game and then will be out of town until friday so I may be unable to update it.

On a side note, after recaping the superbowl, what sort of topics would you like to see addressed?

- Valentine's Day
- Tax Returns
- Football Offseason

I write for those who read, tell me what you want!

Thanks.

The New Year's Resolution

In the past couple days I had been debating on what to blog about next.  Opening night of basketball, Upcoming showdown between Cowboys and Giants, the holidays.  I decided on none of the above (Cowboys/Giants will probably occur later in the week).  I'm writing about something a little more important to me, new year's resolutions.  A friend of mine hit it on the head today in a facebook uipdate, he said:

 "has no resolutions for 2012. He just wants to keep improving on himself each day."

On that note, feel free to head over to his blog at www.thelibraicon.com for all the latest sports updates as well. Back to the blog.

Why do people make new year's resolutions?  I used to believe people made this resolutions because they genuinely had things in their life that they wanted to improve/change and new year's created an opportune time to start these improvements.  However, the more I thought about it the more I realized that if someone genuinely wants to improve themself, they will not wait for a date in order to do so.  When I was trying to lose weight and I talked about it and made several half hearted attempts to do so, nothing changed.  Change began the day I decided to change my lifestyle.  A new year cannot do that for you, it is a crutch.  If you want to make improvements in your life, start today, start yesterday.  I am all for someone improving themself but true change and improvement starts within, not within a new year. 

I always tell people at work that if you're not making yourself better, you're making yourself worse.  If you're waiting for some magical day to make you better, your only making yourself worse in the progress.  Make yourself better each day, some days you will succeed, and others you will not.  Don't do it alone, ask friends and family for help, that's what they're there for.  Some days will be easier than others, don't get discouraged. 

Michael Jordan once said: "I can accept failure, I can't accept not trying." 


I did not wait, I'm in love, I've been loving those around me, living my life the best I can and enjoying all the world of sports I can enjoy. 

My New Year's Resolution: Love, Live, Sports.

5 Reasons why the NBA will never top the NFL

For those who know me, I am an avid sports fan. I love the Dallas Cowboys, I love the Chicago Bulls, love Penn St. Football (still), and I really like the Miami Heat (from the old Knicks/Heat rivalry days).  Both the NFL and the NBA had a lockout this year after experiencing their best seasons ever (Which is like winning the lottery but not cashing in your ticket because you feel like the government is taxing your winnings too much. They are, but who wouldn't still want $60 of the $100 mil they won? NFL and NBA owners).  Nonetheless, here is the list:

5) It's a man's world.  You know why nobody ever complains that it's not fair that a star high school football player is being denied their ability to earn a living by not being allowed into the NFL? Because it's for MEN, not BOYS. If the NBA had not removed all semblance of physicality, they wouldn't have this problem.  You know why you didn't hear about high school kids going to the NBA before the 90's? Because you had to be a man to play then, now all these guys are in the NBA and never seen a weight room.  Make the league for MEN, and only MEN will play.  College is for BOYS to become MEN. The NFL got it right, the NBA dropped the ball.

4) The Super Bowl.  The most viewed NBA game will never garner more attention than the Super Bowl.  The Super Bowl is an event, name a person who doesn't know what the super bowl is or when it is.  Companies make sales around the Super Bowl like it's a holiday.  Even if it's the Buccaneers and the Raiders, you're watching. Nobody watches the Finals if it's not a good match up. Remember the Spurs/Cavs finals? Me either.

3) David Stern.  Now, I'm not even going to get on the whole trade veto thing, David Stern's biggest mistake started way before that.  His biggest mistake? Marketing players over teams.  In the NFL people are fans of a team, Cowboys, Redskins, Steelers, Packers, 49ers, Bears, etc.  As players come and go , their loyalty remains unchanged.  In the NBA you have your die hard fans but so many people are fans of players first. People were Nuggets fans because of Melo, Magic fans because of Howard, Hornets fans because of Paul.  Look in the news, how many people are Clippers fans now? Heat/Bulls fans last year?  David Stern messed up because he did not know how to market team and player, the only teams it can market are the Lakers, Celtics, Knicks, and that's only when they're good.

2) Business Model. Hang with me while I explain this using a little math that I hope you follow. The average NBA stadium seats 18,000 and the average ticket price is $72.36. The NBA plays 82 games a year (minus this season).  That equates to roughly $107 mil revenue potential per team.  The average NFL stadium seats 70,000 and the average ticket price is $113.17.  The NFL plays 16 games a season.  That equates to roughly $127 mil revenue potential per team (both figures are if all games were sold out).  Looks relatively even, right? Wrong.  The difference is in the number of games.  Because the NBA plays so many games, the demand to see the games is so much less than the NFL.  The current TV contracts for both leagues looks like this .  Currently each NBA team receives on average $31M in TV rights where with its new deal each NFL team receives on average $218M.  Those numbers are not typos.  Despite having double the payroll than the NBA, the NFL will always be better because the demand for 16 NFL games is bigger than the demand for 82 NBA games.  Not to mention that the attendance of NBA games makes it highly unlikely for most teams to achieve the revenue number I used.

I hope you all followed that, the base is this: Between ticket revenue and TV revenue each NFL team is making over $200 million more than it's NBA counterpart, $200 million!

1) Stupid Owners. Quick, can you tell me which of these players is in the top 5 highest paid players in the NBA: Chris Paul, Dwayne Wade, Rashard Lewis, Lebron James, Gilbert Arenas, Dwight Howard?

If you guessed Rashard Lewis (2nd) and Gilbert Arenas (5th), you would be correct.  It's sad that Arenas is the 5th highest paid player in the league right now, and he doesn't even have a job.  That is the #1 reason why the NFL is better than the NBA, it's owners are just smarter, or maybe just not as dumb.

Thanks for reading. As always, any feedback is appreciated.

From in the doghouse to king of my castle

Have you ever had to lie to the person you love and they find out you lied but you can't tell them why you lied because it would ruin a surprise? Well this happened to me.  I had been scheming on a gift for my girlfriend for a while and had an accomplice on the inside assisting me. This past weekend I told my girlfriend that I was going home after a meeting at work to go to sleep but I was really going to meet her friend and pick up the gift from her because my girlfriend was coming in town that evening and I hadn't picked the item up for her yet.


 Quick background on why this is important to the story. The night before at work I was there until almost 12:30a and had to be back at 6a for a meeting and then back at work again from 1p-11p. 


SO... After my shift I call her on my way home and I complain about how tired I was and how I had not been back home since 530a in the morning. BIG Mistake, I was caught dead in a lie and could think of nothing other than to tell her that I lied to her but I couldn't tell her WHY I lied.  Needless to say that landed me in the doghouse.


Fortunately I talked my way out of the doghouse for the most part and the next day leading to when we exchanged gifts went well.  Finally, we're exchanging gifts and BAM! She opens a box and gets the gift that she had no idea she was getting.  I explained to her how long my accomplice and I had been working behind the scenes to secure this gift for her and she was completely blown away.  This was the icing on the cake, she was excited, and this was the first time I had EVER truly surprised her.


That was the day I went from the doghouse to being King of Castle, if only more days could be like this!